How I’m Learning to Be Okay with Where I Am, Really

For parents, sending a child off to college is more than just a change in routine—it's a transformative moment that stirs up a mix of emotions, from pride to loss. In my recent conversation with Dr. Karen Tindall, a life coach and mother navigating her own journey of letting go, we dove into what it means to truly check in with ourselves during this period. While the hustle of senior year keeps us busy, the sudden stillness afterward can leave us wondering, Am I really okay?

Dr. Karen shared the wisdom she found in her own moments of reflection, reminding us that it’s okay to feel waves of sadness, nostalgia, and even loneliness. This isn't a sign of weakness; rather, it's a healthy response to a major life shift. "Our emotions are valid, and taking the time to acknowledge them is crucial," she said. The first step to navigating these transitions, as she noted, is allowing ourselves to feel and process rather than brushing those feelings aside.

One of the challenges we discussed was the recurring question we often get from others: "How are you doing?" Though it’s well-intentioned, this question can feel heavy. Karen and I talked about how we sometimes hold back the full truth, maybe because we don't want to break down or feel the need to put up a strong front. For both of us, finding a balance between honesty and emotional boundaries has been essential in conversations with others. By setting limits, we’re able to reserve the emotional energy we need to focus on our own healing.

During our conversation, we also reflected on the importance of not automatically filling this newfound time with work or productivity. Instead, it’s an opportunity to intentionally redefine harmony in our lives, focusing on self-care, rest, and new rhythms that serve our mind, body, and spirit.

In the book, How Are You, Really? Jenna Kutcher talks about the importance of pausing to ask ourselves, “How am I, really?” Many of us are moving at such a relentless pace that we don’t stop long enough to check in on how our bodies and souls are truly doing. We often struggle to sit still, missing the chance to hear what’s really going on inside.

I’ll leave you with a sentiment from Mel Robbins, who also just moved her youngest to college: This major life transition, and all the emotion that comes with it, is a “*mentally healthy response to a major life change.*” Feeling sad, lonely, or unsure about how to fill this new space in your life is, as she reminds us, perfectly normal. So, if you're asking yourself if you’re okay, pause long enough to listen to the answer. Checking in with ourselves is not just a step in the process—it’s the foundation for navigating life’s biggest transitions with intention and grace.

To all the moms finding their footing after moving their kids into college, hear this: it’s okay to be sad, it’s okay to feel joy, and it’s okay to find yourself on a roller coaster of emotions. I’m learning, just like you, to take things a day at a time, to savor the calls with my son, or to soak up the moments cheering him on at Bearcat football games. Even if our kids don’t say they miss us, we know they do. So, whatever you’re feeling, give yourself the grace to feel it fully. Take comfort in knowing that tomorrow is a new day, and as time passes, you’ll feel lighter and more settled into this new chapter. Let’s remember to check in with ourselves along the way, honoring the journey for all that it is.